Shacks, Speed-o's, & Copy cats

I just had to write down a few things before I forget them.

1. We were driving home the other day and as we were passing a trailer park we noticed a cop car with it's light on in the trailer park. Lindsay turned to Kalli and casually said " Kalli look at that cop car in that little city of tiny shacks". If that doesn't make us sound like snobs I don't know what does.

2. With all the storms we had a while ago Kade became pretty fascinated with the weather. One of his questions he would ask me every time lightning would strike was whether or not the lightning was going to "bite" us.

3. I got up early the other day and was drawing when Kade wandered out of his room at about 6:00 a.m. His eyes were still shut, so I asked him if he wanted to go back to sleep. He nodded his head, and as I picked him up to put him back in bed he asked me if there were monkey's in our trees. I told him there weren't any and he said "okay, . . . can I go to the store with you when you go?" I imagine that's about how the conversation would have gone if he had been drunk.

4. This isn't anything cute that my kids did. I just wanted to thank Tiff for the sweet speedo she brought me back from Italy. I tried in on as soon as I got home (over my garments of course). I don't know how europians can wear those in front other people. While I had it on I think I felt more naked than if I had actually been naked. Don't fear though I'll post some pictures of my self wearing it just as soon as I can get my body fat percentage down to 3% or when hell freezes, which ever comes first.

5. Lastly, I've noticed recently that Kade has been copying nearly everything I do. I confirmed this the other day when I came home and took my pants off and put on some basketball shorts. Kade disappeared for a little while then came back in his basketball shorts. I tested my theory to see if I was right by going and putting on my cowboy boots. He walked into the kitchen looked at me, then down at my boots, and ran to his room only to come out a second later with his cowboy boots on. We ate dinner like that then he came up to me afterward and said his boots were hurting his feet and asked me to put on my flip flops. I'm flattered and a little self conscious to know that he watches me that closely. I guess this means know more scissor juggling.

Interpretation's

We went to Bear Lake a little while ago with some friends and family. I'd love to post some pictures but I didn't get my camera out the whole time we were there. Maybe I'll track some down later. Anyway It was the trip home that things began to get a little silly. As we got closer and closer to home our kids giddy-level seemed to get higher and higher.(I apologize to my Hispanic friends for my children's behavior). As we got close to home Kalli started screaming out the window at passing pedestrians "HOT SAUCE FOR SALE!!!!" Lindsay and Kade thought this was hilarious so Kade started screaming it out the other window. Then Kalli upped her game by being more specific about her customers shouting either "HEY MEXICO PEOPLE, or HEY AINGLUSH PEOPLE, . . . HOT SAUCE FOR SALE" We would have stopped them but it was pretty funny, and we figured nobody could tell what the heck they were saying anyway.

As I was typing this I remembered a message I'd gotten on my phone a while ago that I forgot to tell Jackie about. Lindsay called me and left me a message that she was a teacher from Mexico that wanted to order some copies of my children's book. She must think that Luigi is Mexican, because she was using her Super Mario accent. Anyway I'm expecting the pesos to start rolling in from Mexico.

I was also going to post some translations to those who may have difficulty understanding Kalli.

he-bout: used in place of "what about" or "how about"

zert: a sweet treat eaten after dinner.

Satan George: A city in southern Utah known for it's golfing, shopping, and triple digit temperatures; making it a popular vacation spot for George aka Satan.

Example: When we are in Satan George, he-bout we get some ice cream for zert.

It's a bird, It's a plane, It's Jackie and Tiff

This Wednesday Jackie and Tiff took off for Arizona to go visit with the Gray's. That night Kalli was helping me make dinner when she asked me if mom and Tiff were flying in the plane at that moment. I told her that they probably were. She was quiet for a little while then she got this little goofy smile on her face. I asked her what was funny, and she said " That would be funny to see them flying in the plane with there hair blowing all over and everybody screaming". Apparently Kalli thought that planes fly with all the windows open and that it's just shear pandemonium for the entire flight. I can't blame her for thinking that, she's never been on a plane before. She's right though, that would be funny to see.

Potty like it's 1999!

So we’ve been potty training in the loveridge household. I guess I should rephrase that. Jackie’s been potty training Kade and I’ve been voicing my encouragement. It’s such an interesting concept when you stop and think about it. It shouldn’t be that hard to convince someone (even a child) of the advantages of using a toilet vs. sitting in your own mess, but I guess laziness is a pretty strong motivator.

I can’t complain though because Kade has done really well . . . . at first. We did the whole thing. You know buying the special underwear, explaining the reward system (one animal cookie per body function), freaking out when they have an accident on the couch. It was all going great but then the magic sort of peters out, and it becomes such a chore. I mean I can only fake so much enthusiasm for somebody else’s BM. Besides the nostalgia wearing off, Kade has discovered that he can hold it and wait until he’s in bed to announce he has to pee, and then a second time to go number two. And I’ll be damned if he isn’t able to produce some amount of poop every single time. It’s really pretty impressive.

These late night poop sessions do have their charm though. I’ll wait for him to finish and I’ll just sit there and watch his facial expressions begin to fluctuate from concentration, to concern, to amusement, to confusion, to approval, and then back through the cycle again. It’s one of the most entertaining parts of the day.

Pop goes the Weasel

Last week was "wife appreciation week". Jackie was gone with her sisters and their mom to Las Vegas for the weekend. Things were pretty uneventful thankfully. Things didn't get exciting until Jackie got home with presents for all the kids. The girls got water bottles so that they can leave mine and Jackie's alone, but the best "gift" was Kade's. I hesitate calling it a gift, because he has a panic attack every time we try to get him to play with it. Jackie got him one of those weasel-balls. It's a ball with what looks like the remains of a raccoon stapled to the side of it and it rolls around in a sporadic unpredictable path. We can't seem to convince him that's it's not real, so his response every time he sees it is to scream, run behind Jackie, cling to her back, and give a hysterical nervous laugh. I feel torn about my feelings for weasel -ball. Part of me wants to be a good father and not let this evil toy emotionally scar my son for life. On the other hand the big brother part of me can't help but laugh every time I see him freak out. So far the good father side is winning (so far).

Can you hear me now?

Communication is kind of fascinating to me. There are so many different ways that people can communicate with each other these days. It’s also amazing how early in childhood it starts. I’ll try to keep this short (but that might be impossible).

First off there’s Kade. He’s really turned into quite the talker. Like any other kid his age he just repeats everything he hears. I guess that’s why everybody has funny stories about kids at that age repeating funny little things, like racial slurs and swear words. Kade hasn’t said anything too embarrassing, he prefers to express himself through song. He has a beautiful little song he sings which is a mash-up of “all the single ladies” and “the sun will come out tomorrow”. Normally I would say that these two songs go together about as well as diarrhea and a trampoline, but Kade has managed to blend them seamlessly together.

When it comes to communicating Lindsay and Kalli take it to new heights. My first example of the brain trust is when I walked into the bathroom and found Kalli crammed under the bathroom sink screaming something into the cutout for the drainpipe. Just as I’m about to ask what on earth she’s doing I hear Lindsay’s muffled response come back through hole. Apparently they felt that this way they could share secrets back and forth between the two bathrooms. I guess it would be secret as long as no one else was in the house at the time to hear the muffled screaming. I would make fun of them but I seem to remember a couple of other kids who made a pair of peep holes that looked into the back of Mom & Dad's closet in the old Orem house. Want to know what a suit coat looks like in the dark?

They don’t use the bathroom to communicate anymore, because for Christmas they got some sweet texting devices ($10 at Wal-Mart). Kalli doesn’t read very well yet, so this is usually how it goes down. They sit down a foot away from each other and Lindsay starts to type out her message (it’s usually “Kalli what are you doing?”) then Lindsay tells Kalli that she sent her a message and takes Kalli’s texter to read to her what she just sent. Then Kalli gives her answer to Lindsay who then responds and sends the message back to herself. I could only bear to watch this whole process once. Come to think of it I would probably rather have them yelling at each other through the bathroom walls.

Round is a shape

The holidays are getting close, and every year I tell myself that I’m going to restrain from eating too much. I’ve told myself this for the last 10 years. I’ve also consistently gained weight each year. So this year I’m taking more of a pro active stance. I’m planning on doing the P90X thing starting in January, so until that time I’m going to try to drop some weight so I don’t have a heart attack when I start it.
Since I really want to take it serious this time I thought it would be “fun” to take the before photo’s to compare with the end photo’s. “Fun” probably wasn’t the right word to use, “emotionally debilitating” is probably more accurate. I wanted the pictures to be as accurate as possible so I was trying to let my stomach out without sucking in at all. It was harder than I thought. It goes against everything I’ve ever taught my body. Just like a rollie pollie curls up when you poke it, my stomach automatically sucks in when my shirt comes off, I think it’s some kind of survival instinct. Eventually I coaxed my stomach out of hiding, and all I can say is that the results were magnificently horrifying. I looked like I was in my third trimester, and had better get busy picking a name.
When I looked at the picture that’s all the motivation I needed to scare me straight. So I won’t be posting any before pictures, but here is a close second.

(here's a nice profile view that's pretty close)
As a side note after I was done I deleted the picture, smashed the camera with a rock, lit it on fire and threw it into Utah Lake. . . . . that will teach it not to take any more scary pictures.

Caramel apples

I was feeling a little nostalgic the other day, and thought it would be fun to make caramel apples with the kids. Jackie was a little weary of the idea and suggested we just cut up the apples and dip them in the caramel. Seeing this as the easy way out I pressed the issue and finally got my way. I learned many things that night. I had forgotten just how good caramel and apples go together. I also learned some things that don't go well with caramel, such as 2 year old boys, facial hair and digital camera's. After a while of Kade trying to wrestle the apple into submission, and kalli pathetically trying to bite the apple without the use of her two front teeth, I gave into Jackie's good idea and cut up the apple. I still think the caramel apples were a good idea.


notice how the caramel on the lens gives a nice "glamour shot" haze

Kade before he got really messy

Lindsay was the only one who managed to eat it without making a mess.

Imagination

We were driving home the other day and I once again overheard the girls in the backseat having one of their discussions. They decided to play pretend. I’m not sure which one suggested it but they decided to pretend that they were sisters. I’m still not sure if this is genius or idiocy. On the one hand I felt sorry for my daughters that they can’t even think up anything to pretend to be, but on the other hand maybe they are so creative that they decided to pretend to be two completely different people who happen to be sisters. Either way I’m still confused. At any rate today around 5 o’clock I’m going to pretend to get off work and then pretend to drive home

Touching Moments

Lindsay said the sweetest thing to me the other day, and I just had to write it down before I forgot. It was half time of her soccer game and she came over to us to get a drink. Then she sat on my lap and put her head on my chest and said " Dad, you make everything so shady." then she got up and went to finish her soccer game, leaving me there with a lump in my throat. It' s touching that my daughter finds me as useful as an awning.